Book Review: Tiny Beautiful Things

A self-help book for those who don't like self-help books

I recently read Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed. The best way I would describe this book is a self-help book for those who don’t like self-help books.

I’ve never been a big reader of self-help books. It’s not that I don’t think they work for some people, but they have never really had a big impact on me. While most do often have great lessons and tips for navigating certain parts of life, I’ve never really found one that has motivated me enough to try and change things about myself and my surroundings. They often promise too much or contain lessons that are hard to relate to. I’ve read a few, from Untamed by Glennon Doyle and my dad’s all-time favorite How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which I’ve really enjoyed. But when deciding to read a new book, ones focused on self-help are usually at the bottom of my list.

Tiny Beautiful Things was different. The book is composed of entries written to Strayed, who went by Sugar from The Rumpus’s Dear Sugar advice column. Sugar replied to thousands of letters over many years, and the book was comprised of entries during that span, which were made anonymous. People wrote to Sugar for a myriad of reasons, from navigating divorce, sexuality, familial or partner troubles, friendships, dating, career problems, and more. Some even wrote to Sugar just because they were feeling lonely or lost, and she captured people’s hearts and attention by being brutally honest. If in your letter describing your problems, it was evident you had made a mistake or were in the wrong, Sugar was going to tell you that.

Strayed may not have been a doctor or a licensed psychologist or have all the answers, but she is real. My favorite thing was when people wrote to her with their problems or asking for advice, and she often didn’t even tell them what to do. She helped people to consider solutions on their own and push them in the right direction but made it clear that it is up to us to decide how to solve our problems.

While there were many of the entries that I couldn’t relate to and most likely will never need to, there were many that I could relate to right now. For one, someone wrote as a 22-year-old asking Sugar what she would tell her 22-year-old self if she could. Another person was asking for career advice, stuck not knowing what they wanted to do with their life. I could relate to these directly, in a similar position, but it also made me realize some of the privileges I have, as some people’s struggles were heartbreaking and something no one should ever have to experience. Strayed’s writing style is super interesting in her letters in that it is part memoir, as she touches on similar experiences in her own life, but also offers advice to the writer at hand without being overly self-indulgent.

Tiny Beautiful Things, which was also turned into a Hulu original last year, is inspiring, honest and raw, and above all, human. I recently watched the show too and would highly recommend reading the book first and then watching the show starring Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Pidgeon. Sugar’s words and advice has and will stay with you long after you put the book down. While it might fall under the category of a self-help book, or part memoir, it is so much more.